FALSE FRIENDS "Well, in that case, I guess it's worth the money," said Kristen. "SO you'll come?" asked the friend. "Yeah, I'II come," replied Kristen. Kristen met her friends at Shibuya station and they walked to the restaurant. They rode the elevator tO the seventh floor and entered the restaurant. The room was still pretty empty. staff was still setting up the buffet. ・ 'Are we early?" asked Kristen. "A little early I guess. lt's best to be early when there's a viking," said her friend. "lhat makes sense. Will the viking get here soon? ” asked Kristen. "lt looks like it's almost ready," said her friend. Soon the buffet was ready. Kristen and her friends got ⅲ line and piled their plates high with food. They ordered a round of beers for the table. Then they ordered another. Kristen was having so much fun, she forgot about the viking. After a couple Of hours, the waiter came tO 37

FALSE FRIENDS "Oh, it's finished," one of her friends said. "ReaIIy? I missed it! l'm so disappointed!" said Kristen, her disappointment showing on her face. 'What do you mean? You had three plates offood! ” said the friend. "Huh? I don't get it... Wait! You mean the viking な the buffet? You call a buffet a viking?" asked Kristen. "Yeah. 怖たⅲ & lt's, how do you say it? AII- you-can-eat. Don't you say ⅵた加 g in EngIish? What did you think I was talking about?" replied the friend. "No! Ha-ha!We don't call an all-you-can- eat buffet a viking. lt's an all-you-can-eat buffet. A viking is from Scandinavia. You know, with a pointy silver helmet and a sword!" said Kristen wiping tears from her cheeks. The tears were from laughter. Kristen had never laughed so hard in her life. How did the word "viking" come to mean an all-you-can-eat buffet? TO Kristen, it didn't make any sense at all! 39

FALSE FRIENDS between tWO colleagues, one American and one Japanese: American: 、・ How did the meeting go?" Japanese: 、。刀肥〃 s 〃 was / g . American: "Oh no!What happened?" Japanese: "Huh?" That's not the only time these false friends have caused trouble. Rose, a British woman married tO a Japanese man, remembers hav- ing this conversation With her mother-in-law: 'HOW was your holiday?" asked Rose. Her mother-in-law had just returned from a trip tO Paris with a friend. "lt was cold and rainy. lt was ル - 〃豆 0 〃 , said her mother-in-law. "Oh, that's good to hear! Too bad about the weather, though," replied Rose. After which her mother-in-law didn't say anything. Poor Rose. Her mother-in-law must have thought she was SO insensitive! 27

FALSE FRIENDS "Didn't he say he lived in a mansion? If he's SO rich, shouldn't he take you to nicer places?" asked Lisa. When she thought about it, Kelly did think this was kind Of weird. Wherever they went, they always split the bill. ne summer went by very fast. Soon it was time for Taka tO return tO Japan. They promised tO keep in touch. Over the next year, Kelly and Taka exchanged many emails. Sometimes they sent each Other pictures, tOO. Taka sent Kelly photos Of him and his friends at a restaurant, at a music festival, and at a beach. He never sent her pictures of his family or his home, though. le next summer, Taka invited Kelly to visit him in T0kyo. Of course she said "yes!" KeIIy wanted tO see Taka again. Her friend Lisa was more interested in the manslon. "Finally you get to see this 'ordinary mansion Of his! I wonder hOW many rooms it 33

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY Most guys only 100k at my breasts," she would reply. "Uh, not me . 42 drink in one hand and had his other hand in hair that covered his ears. He was holding a He spoke slow, careful English and had long 'Where are you from?" One ofthem asked. front ofthem! Suddenly two guys were standing right in men are. were complaining about how shy Japanese and tonics. As they often did, the two friends sitting on a SOfa in the corner, drinking gin "lhere they were, two pretty American girls Stacy went out for drinks with a friend. one happened in T0kY0. One evening tacy, tOO, has a bar story tO share. This

eing polite is a challenge in English.This iS because there are no set rules! You just have tO go with the flOW. Some situations call for more polite language than others. Often though, it depends on the person. For example, some professors want tO be called Professor. Others want to be called by their first name. But just because a professor wants t0 be called by his or her first name, you still need t0 show some respect. After all, you're talking t0 a professor. Ryusuke had some trouble with this, too. American universities surprised Ryusuke ー everything was so casual. But he liked it. He liked calling his professors by their first names. lt was easier to talk to them, like talking t0 a friend. Just like when he talked to his friends, Ryusuke said "yeah" to his professors 82

GRAMMAR GAFFS He was sent tO work in his company's branch Office in New Jersey. MOSt Of his co-workers were already married, but not Atsushi. Soon, however, he began dating a local woman, Angela. He had met her ⅲ a bar. After they had been on a few dates, Angela invited Atsushi tO a party. lt was going tO be a potluck barbeque at Angela's friend's house. "Don't worry. I'II take care of the food. Just pick up a nice bottle 0f wine, okay? My friends are all dying to meet you," said Angela. Angela picked up Atsushi in her red convertible. They drove t0 the party. Angela walked right up to the front door and opened it without knocking. lnside, there was a bunch ofpeople sitting on the sofa. They were watching a baseball game. "Hey guys!" Angela called out. "Hey Angela. Patty's out back," said one 0f the men sitting on the sofa. Atsushi followed Angela into the backyard. At a picnic table, there was a young woman, 47

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY Shiori and her husband Raymond were visiting friends in New York. Shiori saw a branch of a famous Tokyo ramen shop. She pointed it out tO their friends. "Let's go try it!" her friends said. "Shiori, you can tell us if it's as good as it is in Tokyo. So Shiori, Raymond, and their two friends entered the noodle shop. lt was rather crowded. Shiori was impressed! ramen getting popular in America? She wondered. Shiori looked around at the other cus- tomers. lhey seemed to be enjoying their noodles. But they weren't eating them quite right. Their rhythm was wrong. They weren't slurping properly. "I'II show you guys how to eat ramen properly," Shiori said t0 her friends. Shiori leaned over the steaming bowl of noodles and demonstrated with her chop- sticks. Her friends tried to copy her actions. But they weren't getting it right. "No, not like that. Like this," said Shiori, demonstrating again. 76

alse friends are words that are the same in two languages, but have different meanings. "lhese words seem like friends: because they 100k the same. But in reality the meanings are different. 1hey are not really friends at all. ln fact, they often cause confusion. Beware Of these false friends! Often these false friends are loan words, from one language tO another. lhere are lots of English loan words in Japanese. But not all of these loan words have the exact same meaning in English. And not all words that look like EngIish really are English. lhat's When communication trouble begins. Let's return tO the coffee shop, where Midori's story takes place. Midori was on holiday in NewYork. She walked off the street intO a downtown coffee shop. "l'd like an ス襯 er / ca れ , please," she said 24

TRANSLATION TROUBLES would have to speak EngIish. One day, he rode the elevator with an American employee, SCOtt. "Hey Kenichi, how's it going?" Scott asked. "Okay. You?" replied Kenichi. He had this part Of the conversation down perfect! 、℃ an't complain. Get up to anything fun over the weekend? ” asked Scott. "I 〃厄 d with my friends in Shinjuku," said Kenichi. NOW Kenichi meant that he went drinking with his friends in Shinjuku. But here's the problem: in English, the verb play" is only used with children or pets. For example, a child would say t0 his or her mother: "Can I go play with my friends now? ” Or an adult could say: "I played with my three-year-old niece. Anyone over the age 0f twelve would probably say, "hang out. " As in: 町 hung out with my friends over the weekend. Playing a sport or a musical instrument is 73