PRONUNCIATION PROBLEMS tOOk a seat in the corner. He could already taste the creamy coffee in his mouth. He tOOk a sip —but it wasn't coffee at all. lt tasted like English tea. He opened the lid to make sure. Yes, watery chestnut brown EngIish tea. ne cashier must have made a mistake, he thought. But, being J 叩 anese, he wasn't going t0 complain. He just sat there drinking the tea, dreaming Of a cappuccino. SO what happened? Yoshi said, 。 ca 〃〃リ c - cino," but he didn't say the final syllable strongly enough. SO what the cashier heard was, cup Of tea. On the other hand, at least Yoshi was able tO order something. Kaori, an exchange student, remembers the first time she tried tO order from a COffee ShOP in America. She walked up to the counter and ordered a "hot tea"—just whatYoshi got. Except she said "hOt tea" like it was one word. lt sounded like: 、℃ an I have a 0 な ie , please?" lhe cashier just stood there looking at 9

GRAMMAR GAFFS very strangely. Kimik0 thought he might be drunk. She was very worried.What if he got sick? What if he disappeared? Kimiko took him to the hotel. She wanted him to stay in the room and get some rest. She tried tO direct him towards the bed. But he wasn't following. lnstead, he was headed towards the refrigerator. "Oh no!" thought Kimiko. She had to get him to lie down. She took him by the arm and led him to the bed. Kimiko wanted tO say: 'Please lie down. But she was stressed. She couldn't find the correct words in English. SO instead she said: "Please get . " Now, in English,"t0 get laid" is slang for having sex. Kimik0 knew this. SO she couldn't believe what she had just said! What if the star got the wrong idea? She looked at his face tO see his expression. But it seemed that he wasn't paying attention tO her. Lucky for Kimiko! Of course she still had the problem 0f getting him t0 lie down.. 67

or Japanese students 0f English, "L" and "R" must seem like a curse! But actually there iS another sound that can cause just as many problems. Read on t0 learn what hap- pens when Amanda travels t0 the Japanese countryside. Amanda grew up ⅲ England. Her father is English, but her mother is Japanese. SO Amanda grew up hearing some Japanese. When she was a college student, she decided t0 spend a year studying in T0kY0. During her first holiday, she t00k a train t0 the countryside tO visit her mother's relatives. She watched the scenery change outside the train window. She watched the tall buildings slowly disappear. Then she saw valleys filled with rice paddies. She saw small towns and houses with blue tile roofs. lhis was the countryside! 17

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY summer program. One day, KelIy saw Taka ⅲ a coffee shop. She didn't know he was Japanese. She thought he was Asian American. Kelly was from the Midwest, in the middle ofAmerica. She had never met a Japanese person before. But she liked Taka's style: the way he did his hair, the way he dressed. She hoped she would see h ⅱ . again. ne following week, KeIly saw Taka again at the same coffee shop.What luck! He was ⅲ line. She got in line behind him. lhis time she decided to talk to him. Hey, I like your shirt. Did you get it around here? ” she asked. "lhank you. I got it in Japan," said Taka. Kelly noticed that Taka had an accent. lhis made him even more attractive, Kelly thought. She also liked the shy way he smiled. "Oh. ls that where you're from?" asked Ke lly. "Yeah," replied Taka. "Wow. What's Japan like? l've never been 30

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY She came to the front of the stage and sang out loudly: "Everyone crap!" Now the lead singer had a beautiful voice. But her English pronunciation wasn't quite right. She wanted to say,"clap," but it came out as crap instead! Stacy tried hard not to laugh. Gospel was religious music. And this was her friend's concert! "Come on everyone. Let's crap together for God!" the singer sang loudly. Stacy was trying so hard not to laugh that tears came out Of her eyes. After the show she met Nao backstage. Nao could see that Stacy's eyes were wet with tears. She must have been moved by the show! Nao felt very happy. "Did you enjoy the show?" she asked Stacy. "Yes, very much. lhank you," said Stacy. 16

0 0 AII of a sudden, something happened t0 break the spell. ln the center 0f the stage stood the lead singer. She was singing at full volume. Her bOdy was moving tO the music. She was clapping her hands above her head. 15

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY We're going t0 have a party after work. DO you want tO come? ” Neil asked. "Yes. Thank you for inviting me," said Junko. She could feel Neil's blue eyes looking at her. But she didn't 100k up. 、℃ reat. We'lI probably have it at a bar near school, but we haven't decided where yet. l'll let you know the details later," said Neil. 'Okay," said Junk0. Everyday that week, when Neil passed Junko's desk, he would smile at her and say, "Hi, Junko. ' Junko knew she should make eye contact and smile back. But each time, she couldn't bring herself t0 d0 it. lnstead, she said "Hi Neil," while looking at her computer. Only after he passed would she feel brave enough t0 100k up. "Next time, l'll 100k him in the eye,' Junk0 told herself. Finally it was Friday, the day 0f Casey's party. Junk0 was daydreaming. Just then, she saw him coming towards her desk. 52

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY like you want tO have a conversation with that person. lt's like, 'dO you have time to talk tO me?' or do you have time to get a cup of coffee with me?' lt sounds like a pick-up line,' explained the co-worker. A pick up line! Oh no, that's not what I meant at all, thought Atsushi. ronouns are alSO an extra headache for Japanese students of English. lt is necessaryto add "he" or "she" tO a sentence. Mix them up and you might call someone's husband ” or someone S sister "he. AISO, a sentence that doesn't need a pronoun in Japanese needs one in English. But the problem is: what pronoun tO use? Trisha remembers getting an email from one of her English students.lhe email said: 58

ose has another story tO share, about the first time she met Masa's mother. Rose and Masa had been dating for about a year. Masa wanted tO introduce Rose tO his mother. Masa told his mother this, and they made a plan t0 have lunch together. Masa's mother would cook lunch for the three of them at her home. Masa and Rose arrived at the house on the day.lhey rang the doorbell. "Please come in. Hello, Rose. l'm Masa's mother. Nice tO meet you," said the mother. She was still wearing her apron. "Nice t0 meet you, t00. Can I help you with anything?" said Rose. Rose was happy that Masa's mother could speak some English. This was going tO be easier than she thought! "NO. l'm almost done. PIease go int0 the 〃レⅲ g , " said the mother. 28

ENGLISH MADE FUNNY discuss a tOPiC for an hour over COffee. Sometimes Trisha would pick the topic. Sometimes Kazuko would pick the topic. lhis week, Kazuk0 had a topic that she wanted to talk about. "l'd like to talk about the presidential erection, " Kazuko said. Trisha's eyes grew wide. She pressed a napkin tO her mouth for a moment. Then she lowered the napkin and said: "Uh, okay. What d0 you, uh, think, about it?" "Well, this seems like a very important erection,' Kazuko continued in her usual steady voice. "He is the president after all," Trisha replied. She t00k a drink 0f coffee, burying her face in the cup. "And maybe this erection will have a big effect on Japan," said Kazuko. "Ah ... ” said Trisha. Trisha looked to her left and her right. TO her relief, nobody seemed to be listening ⅲ on their conversation. 12