Contents lntroduction ・ Section 1. Finding Love ・ 13 15 l(). Fate 9. Free Will 14 8. Understand Yourself First 12 7. The Strength Of Being AIone 6. Keep ln Touch With What's ReaI 7 0 5. What Women Want 4. What Men Want 9 3. Perfect Love? 8 2. FalIing ln Love 7 1. Allow For Love 6 Section 2. FaIIing ln Love ・ 19 18. Don't Rush Love 25 17. Check Reality 24 16. Take Your Time 23 15. Commit With Passion 22 14. Listen To Yourself 21 13. Open Your Heart 20 12. Enjoy Your New Love 18 Romantic Love 11. 20. Grow The Relationship 29 19. Understand Each Other 28 Section 3. When Love ls New ・ 1 ・ 27

42 ・ Be Friends As Well As Lovers Love is the base for a successful relationship and friendship is the food that helps the relationship to grow and be healthy. This is a good balance; friendship and love together strengthen a relationship and help it t0 stay healthy and strong. Love comes from a deep sense Of togetherness and joining Of the spirit or soul. Love is mostly about your feelings, where as friendship is very much ab out how you b0th get along together. Long term success ⅲ a relationship needs friendship as well as love. Learning about the other person builds the friendship. You can grow the friendship by listening, being thoughtful, being helpfu し being kind and caring. Remember to keep friendship as a real part 0f your relationship, as well as love. 53

/ 6. Be Positive About Yourself lt is healthy to think and feel positive about yourself. Here are some things you can dO to feel positive about yourself: ・ Accept that you are not perfect and you never will be. ・ L00k at the positive, the many things that are good about you. ・ Be grateful for the good things already ⅲ your life. ・ Don't think about the future t00 much. ・ Have a dream for the future, but live now. ・ Relax, let go of worry. ・ Care for yourself and others. ・ Meet people and make friends. Le arn to laugh more and play; have fun with your partner and friends. 92

Don't Beat YourseIf Up About Mistakes What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake? ls it mostly good and positive, as it would be if you were talking t0 a friend? Or is what you say to yourself negative and hurtful ? Learning tO love yourself when you make mistakes is one Of the most important things you will ever dO. Everyone make s mistakes; this is how you really le arn about yourself and the world. Mistakes can make you more understanding and teach you tO be a better person. Most people learn and grow through making mistakes and then they change what they do next time. Be open tO learn from mistakes SO you may learn and grOW a person. 94

49 ・ Love Can Be AII That You Hope For AII relationships need work and care to develop and grow. Love can be for you all that you hope but remember that love never Stays the same, it changes all the time. Sometime it feels better, sometimes it feels like it isn't working. As time goes by, love will feel different as it grows and changes. Have goals for your relationship and work with your partner tO gain these. Practice the things needed tO grow your love, such as talking and listening and showing your love for each other. You and your part- ner can live through these times, grow together and learn tO love each Other 1 第 .ore and more as time passes. 60

Take Your Time lt takes time tO get tO know another person well; pos- sibly a whole lifetime. Make the time t0 get t0 know someone well first before you make the chOice tO be With them forever. Don't rush intO a serious relation- ship t00 fast. Sometimes the person you fall ⅲ love with may not be the type you would have expected to love. lt can be very surprising wh0 you fall ⅲ love with. When you are first in love it is very easy not tO notice things about the other person that you may not like. Love has a way 0f making you blind t0 the other person's faults. The other person may be getting used to his own feelings; his feelings may be new t0 him also. He may need tO match these feeling with yours and need time to do this. When you take your time t0 get t0 know someone well it helps friendship t0 grow between you and gives your relationship a good chance t0 be a success. 23

93 ・ Learn To Like Yourself Many women think that the love 0f a man will make them happy. Some women fear being alone because they see it as shameful. The truth 0f it is that women are very strong and can be happy living on their own. When you learn to live with yourself and like yourself you truly become strong. lt is possible tO be just as alone when you are with someone in a relationship as When you are not With S01 .eone 冫 When you are With someone WhO iS making you unhappy you can feel very alone. Learn to like yourself because this builds good feelings about yourself and helps you t0 feel good no matter WhO iS or isn't in your life. 〇 00 〇 0 109

Have Energy For Yourself Living a busy life and having so many different areas of your life that need your time can break down your energy. If you feel like your energy is getting 10W , here are some things you can dO tO keep good strong energy for yourself: ・ Find time to be by yourself, for yourself. ・ Say, "No" if you have t00 much to do. ・ Ask for help if and when you need it. ・ Make a list of all the good things about yourself and read it every day for a month. ・ Work out something you enjoy doing and make time to do it every day, even if just for half an hour. ・ sleep or relaxatiOn. Any of these things will help you to keep strong posi- tive energy for yourself.

24 ・ Ask Questions Learn tO ask questions about your partner. ShOW a real interest in what he thinks and feels. Don't be afraid t0 ask. Some people don't find it easy t0 ask their boyfriend or partner about themselves. If you are one Of these people, make the effort t0 d0 this. Ask questions such as, "What are you feeling now?" or "What is happen- ing right now for you?" or "Can I help you with any- thing?" Then listen t0 his answer. Really listen. Don't start asking another question or make a comment. Wait and listen to him with all your heart. Learn to proceed quietly and be a loving, listenmg per- son. Grow your understanding, grow your friendship, and this will grow your love. 2 33

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