Don't Rush Love When you rush into a rel ationship it can blind you to the other person as they really are and you may lose contact with your own feelings and values. Everyone needs time to think about their own needs and about what the other person is really like and t0 get t0 know them. Find out about the other person—the things they think are important tO them, the things they love and hate, like and dislike. Put your feelings on hold until you have worked out more about them. lt can be hard tO dO this because passion and love can be very strong and you may not want to go slowly. You may not see everything there is about the Other person. lt is very important tO balance passion with getting tO know the other person. 25

6 & Stop BIaming Many people blame and judge the person they have loved for all the bad things that have happened in their lives. They do not stop to think that they have added something tO these events in S01 れ e way. Everyone has more control of their lives than they think they have. lt can be very healing to accept that your thoughts and actions may have made your life what it is right now. Don't blame the person you love or have loved ⅲ the past for what has or hasn't worked for you in your life. Accept the things you and the other person have done in the past and move on. Don't think over and over about the past. Fix the things you are able to fix and let go of the past. Make changes for the future by the way you think and act now. This will create the best possible future for you and your partner and your life will become much 1 れ ore positlve. 82

33 ・ 80% Positive lt is sometimes very easy tO talk t00 much about the things that have gone wrong for you or have not been pleasant for you. If you speak mostly about all the negative things in your life or relationship, that is hOW you will be seen by others. lt also is how you will come to believe yourself to be. The things that have gone wrong for you are probably only a small part of what you have done. Most of the things you do are OK and you might feel happy about them. The things that have gone wrong ⅲ any day are probably less than 20 % of what you have done in that day. Make sure that you talk positively about the things that are OK for you or are good in the world. Make sure that what you talk about is at least 80 % positive and less than 20 % negative. You will feel happier and the world will seem a better place. 44

Be Careful How People Talk To You Have you ever walked away from a friend and felt badly? FeIt like something the other person did or said wasn't nice or didn't feel right? Sometimes friendships change and your friends may not have your best inter- ests at heart. They may feeljealous of what you have. Trust that feeling of something not being right if you feel it about a friend. Sometimes you have to let go 0f a past friendship because it is not healthy for you anymore. "I loved my school friend Sak, but she was so jealous of my life with my boyfriend and my job. We just didn't have any fun together. I miss her but I had to stop seeing her as it was poisoning my life. lt was just not nice tO be With her any more, She was becoming SO cruel. ′ Lucy 77

2 ス Forgiveness Everyone finds it hard to forgive someone who has done something that hurts you or something thought- less. lt is easy t0 go on thinking much t00 often about what it was they did to hurt you. D0ing so does not help you t0 get on with your life. lt does not help you to live your life ⅲ a happy way. The Other person might have hurt you once; but when you think about it over and over again, you hurt yourself again and again. Every time you think about it you relive the hurt. By reliving the pain in your mind over and over again, dO you not hurt yourself more Often than the other person hurt you in the first place? Le arn t0 forgive other people when you think they have hurt you or done something wrong to you. Also, learn to forgive yourself for things you have done wrong or could have done better. The past is gone and finished. If you have done some- thing wrong, learn from what you have done and try never to d0 it again. Forgive yourself and think about hOW you can be better in the future. 38

80. Have A HeaIthy Body lt is not unusual to hear a teenager and her mother speak the same way about fOOd and exercise because they have the same beliefs about food and exercise. The same can be said about you and your friends. The way you and others speak and feel about your body has an impact on your attitude toward how you feel and 100k. Find the comp any 研 friend s who have a healthy attitude toward their bodies and how they 100k after and care for them. lt is easy to reflect the values and beliefs of those you spend time with. Be with people who have a healthy relationship with food and their body. For just as you take good things from what you eat, you also take the views, whether good or bad, of those you spend time with. 96

23 ・ Enjoy Yourself Remember to enjoy yourself, to have fun, to be light and cheerfu し at least most of the time. There are times when you might not feel happy or times when you have things to worry about. You might have tO work hard at times and focus strongly, but it is still possible to be happy and light. There are many times when you could choose to be lighter and more cheerful. This will help your spirit; it will make you stronger and more able to get along with others when times are hard for you. Being light and happy makes you more pleas ant with your family and friends. Sharing your fun and happiness with your partner can add to the enjoyment of both 0f you. You can choose tO enJOY yourself more, and tO have 1 .ore fun. 32

29. Goals For Happiness Most people want to be happy in their lives. They want to be happy in their relationship, their work, their friendships and in the way they learn. lt can be t00 easy to think that having lots of money or lots of things will bring happiness. Most people who have lots of money or many things say that these do not bring happiness. They say that to have many things or lots of money leads them to worry about keeping their money or their things, more than enJOYing them. Think carefully about what you would like to achieve ⅲ your life —what you think would help you to be happy. Having some money and some things is impor- tant for you and it is valuable to have goals about these things. Think about other parts of your life. ls good health important tO you? ls a loving relationship important tO you? ls it important tO you to have some time to yourself every day? Do you have something you love t0 do? Do you read, paint, swim, dance, walk or enjoy doing something else? Making goals for these things will help you to enjoy a balanced, happy life. 40

100 KEYS OF LOVE であると気づく inahardway 辛い ロ hO 熟 holdback ( 本心などを ) 方法で , 大変なやり方で 隠す [ しまっておく ] ho 旧 on ~ を守り続ける put your feelings on ロ hardly 副①ほとんど ~ でない , わ h d 気持ちを抑える すかに②厳しく , かろうじて hardly ever ほとんど ~ ない , めったに ~ し ロ honest 形①正直な , 誠実な , 心か らの②公正な , 感心な《 be 》 honest 山 eacho 山 er お互いに正直であ harm 名害 , 損害 , 危害 bring る harm and pain 悪影響と苦痛をも たらす動傷つける , 損なう you do ロ honestly 副正直に yourself harm by trying そうしよ ロ honesty 名正直 , 誠実 うとすることで自分を傷つける ロ hono 「動尊敬する , 栄誉を与える ロ hate 動嫌う , 憎む , ( ~ するのを ) ロ hopeful 形希望に満ちた . 望みを いやがる enduphating 結局は嫌い 抱いて ( いる ) , 有望な になる名憎しみ ロ hopeless 形①希望のない , 絶望 have control over 熟 ~ を支配 的な②勝ち目のない する . ~ を抑制する ロ hOW 熟 how you ok 外見 how ロ head-of-department 名 ( 学 you Ⅱ be seen by others あなた 校の ) 学科長 が他の人にどのように見られるか ロ heal 動いえる , いやす , 治る . 治す hOW you Ⅱ come believe ロ healing 形治療の , 病気を治す , い yourselfto be あなたが自分がどの やす ような人であると思うようになるか ロ health 熟 in good health よい状 ロ hum 名プンプンという音 ロ hurt 熟 get hurt 傷つく hurt you ロ healthy 形健康な . 健全な , 健康に ⅲ山 e 応 rst 可 ace 最初にあなたを傷 よい つけた relive the hurt 再び傷つく ロ heart 熟 at heart 心の中では , 本 ロ hurtful 形傷つける , 有害な 心は withallone'sheart 真心を込 めて , 心底から your friends may not have your best interests at heart 友人は , 本当はあなたのためを 思っていないかもしれない held 熟 strongly held belief 堅い 信条 ロ helpful 形役に立っ . 参考になる ロ Henry David Thoreau 名へ ンリー・ディヴィッド・ソロー ( 1817 2 ) 《米国の作家 , 思想家》 ロ hi 間おい , ゃあ ロ hide 動隠れる , 隠す , 隠れて見えな い , 秘密にする ロ high school 名高等学校 ロ hilarious 形愉快な , 陽気な , こっ けいな ロ ロ if 熟 as あたかも ~ のように even たとえ ~ でも lfanyofthese things happen you ... もしこれ らのうちのひとつでも起こったら・・ ロ imagine 動想像する . 心に思い描 く imagine what you like about 山 em そのことについてあなたが好 むことを思い描く ロ impact 名影響力 , 反響 , 効果 ロ improve 動改善する [ させる ] , 進 歩する ロ inbuilt 形作り付けの , 組み込みの inbuilt 代天賦の才能 including 前 ~ を含めて , 込みで 126

90 ・ Build Your Self-esteem lt's important to feel good and to be clear and strong about your skills and about what you can do. No one is perfect, but you are mostly capable. Remember that you have good skills in your work, you have some relationship skills and you can talk clearly, listen and achieve your goals. You may not fit the popular magazine pictures for size, figure, dress and the bag you carry, but you can still dress well, or buy nice things. While there may be a few things you would like to change about yourself, you are probably more OK than you think you are. When you think about yourself, do you like yourself? DO you see yourself as positively as you really are? Do you feel mostly good about yourself? Do you have good self-esteem? Or do you talk badly to yourself about those few things you might like to improve about yourself? TO help with this, think about your strengths, the things you are good at. Think about the things you do well each day rather than talking badly to yourself about any small things you could have done better. 106