Your Needs Are lmportant Make time in your diary each week just for you. You can d0 anything you want with this time as long as you keep that time for yourself. Unles s you live aw ay fror れ everything, there iS usually some sort Of noise going on around you, even if it is just the quiet hum Of a computer. Trains, cars, people, television and loud music all make the world around you a busy place to be. Time alone is a caring and very supporting thing t0 d0 for yourself. Start with two minutes a day and build this up tO a longer time. lt is just as important tO make this time whether you are a student, in paid work or not; makmg time for yourself improves your sense of real value and self worth. When you spend time by yourself your values ⅥⅡ become clearer and 1 れ ore certain. Time alone Will help you t0 be clear about your values and what you want in your life. 112

Time For Yourself DO you make time for yourself? Do you have times where you do things just for you? Our work culture has placed a high value on paid work. Everyone works longer hours at their everyday jObs SO it may not feel natural tO spend time for your- self by yourself. Some people make their relaxation time as busy as a work day. They fit ⅲ so much that they never seem tO stop dOing things, either at work or in their own time. Allow quiet time for yourself; it is very healthy to treat yourself in this way. 103

Perfect Love? Love is a very special feeling. Much is talked about ro- mance as being perfect, but having that special feeling all the time is not possible. Someone else cannot make you feel special all 0f the time and you can't make someone else happy all of the time. Women will be disappointed if they search for the perfect" love, where everything is great and the other person is thinking and caring about you all the time. lt's easy tO lose your sense Of reality and come to hope too much for this kind of love, as your heart will be excited and your hopes will be high. If you can have good feelings about yourself when you are falling in love, if you can care about and love yourself, if you can accept that love isn't perfect all the time, then you will allow love to happen in a more natural and caring way. 8

11. Romantic Love The idea of romantic love is a strongly held belief in most Ⅵー 01 れ en. Many women dream Of a man coming into their life and falling in love with them and every- thing being OK forever. The dream of falling deeply in love easily and living happily ever after iS COI 1 れ on among Ⅵ , 01 れ en. ThiS iS not how it happens most of the time. Love can be dif- ficult and painful at times and it can be hard t0 go on loving someone. After a time fhe first stage Of romance can le ave the relationship and change intO a different kind of love and you may miss that new falling-in- love feeling. Some people just keep changing partners because they only want to feel that first falling-in-love feeling. Most people in long-term relationships still enjoy romantic feelings from time tO time—unlike new love, where the first falling-in-love feeling seems to be there all the time. Falling in love is just the first step in a relationship, not the whole of the relationship. If you have the courage tO accept that love changes over time, and journey through the changes in that love, a deeper love and pleasure will come from the relationship. 18

The Strength Of Being Alone Learn how t0 enjoy being in your own company. You can learn SO much about yourself when you spend time alone, listening tO your own thoughts. Get tO know yourself as you would a close friend. Spend some time alone tO get tO know yourself better. If you look for a relationship to 6 Ⅱ an empty space within you it won't always make you happy. The person may not be wh0 or what you think they are or you may not be wh0 or what they really want. If that space in you is filled with love for yourself then when you d0 find someone t0 love, the relationship can start from strength and equality rather than need- ing and wanting someone t0 make you happy. If you already like yourself, the other person liking or loving you is an added happy event. Even if you are happy in a relationship, you may welcome having time alone from time tO time. 12

Look To The Future With Hope Understand that when a relationship is over you will survive and go on with your life. Even if you cannot believe that just now, you will heal. Even if you do not believe this at the time, know that it will become true for you at some time in the future. TO feel pain after IOSS is normal. lt proves that you are alive and that you are human. Don't stop living your life; become stronger, become hopeful that one day you will find love and happiness again. Your experience has added something tO your life and will help you to 100k at things with more wisdom next time. ln time, something good always comes from something hurtful. 85

95 ・ Connect With Yourself Take time to nurture yourself. Get ⅲ touch with your lnner self, your inner WiSdom. Being still is a great way to get in touch with the real you. When you stop thinking and just sit and let your mind drift, you create a space for your inner self to breathe, creating a rich inner life, a life that isn't about Other people and action, just about you and your inner true self. Each person has their own way Of connecting with this inner part of themselves. Try your own way to find some space and time to stop and let go of everyd ay life. "When I sit still and stop thinking, there is this other part of me who is just kind 研 happy and at ease with myself, just sitting doing nothing. This is my inner self. I feel better about myself when I make time to sit quietly and let go of my mind trying to make sense of everything all the time. When I make time to do that I am a much happier person and much less stressed. " Kylie 111

Take Your Time lt takes time tO get tO know another person well; pos- sibly a whole lifetime. Make the time t0 get t0 know someone well first before you make the chOice tO be With them forever. Don't rush intO a serious relation- ship t00 fast. Sometimes the person you fall ⅲ love with may not be the type you would have expected to love. lt can be very surprising wh0 you fall ⅲ love with. When you are first in love it is very easy not tO notice things about the other person that you may not like. Love has a way 0f making you blind t0 the other person's faults. The other person may be getting used to his own feelings; his feelings may be new t0 him also. He may need tO match these feeling with yours and need time to do this. When you take your time t0 get t0 know someone well it helps friendship t0 grow between you and gives your relationship a good chance t0 be a success. 23

3 & Look For Happiness Everyone has a sense 0f happiness ⅲ them, 0f being able to look on the bright side of things. ln your life, things that happen can sometimes be hard for you. You will have some good times and some difficult times, some good days and bad days. When things are difficult for some of the time you will need to think about fixing whatever has caused the problem. You may think about what you can d0 differ- ently or better next time. At the same time you can choose not tO over-worry about the problem; d0ing so can be a waste 0f your energy. Be lighter ⅲ your spirit during difficult times' bOth ⅲ your actions and your relationships. Choose not to think about the problems all the time, think about the happy things ⅲ your life and be grateful for these happy things. You can choose t0 100k for the happiness even when things are difficult. 49

49 ・ Love Can Be AII That You Hope For AII relationships need work and care to develop and grow. Love can be for you all that you hope but remember that love never Stays the same, it changes all the time. Sometime it feels better, sometimes it feels like it isn't working. As time goes by, love will feel different as it grows and changes. Have goals for your relationship and work with your partner tO gain these. Practice the things needed tO grow your love, such as talking and listening and showing your love for each other. You and your part- ner can live through these times, grow together and learn tO love each Other 1 第 .ore and more as time passes. 60