Be Careful About Who You Spend Time With DO people around you speak badly about themselves or about others when you are with them? DO they say unpleasant things about what they or others 100k like or hOW or what they eat? Being around people like this can make you feel bad. If your friends don't think the same way you think or the way you want t0 think, you can change who you spend time with. lt may not be easy t0 spend less time with people you are used to being with, but if they don't support the way you think and feel about yourself and your body, then for your own health and well being it may be better for you not tO be with them. 95

34 ・ 範Ⅱ The Truth ln a relationship it is important tO be honest with each other, to tell the truth. If you don't tell the truth, your partner might see this as something wrong with the relationship. He might think you have something that is worrying you. He might think you don't trust him with your feelings, or that you are keeping something from him. Let's say he asks you, "Am I working t00 many long hours? DO you need me tO spend more time with you?" You might think of saying, "NO, it's fine. Everyth1ng is OK. " He knows that he is never at home; he knows the hours he works are long. SO if you don't tell him the truth, next time he asks you about something, he may question whether you are trying tO be nice tO him and whether he can trust your answer. If you do not tell the truth, you might think that you are being kind to your partner, but you really are not being fair to him or to yourself. Tell the truth with kindness, but tell the truth. 45

59 ・ When You Decide To Act On Your FeeIings When you decide that you want to do something about how you feel, ask questions about what you think is happening and check with your partner about how you can go forward together with a better understand- ing 0f each other. But always remember to be true to yourself. Act on what is true for you and on what you believe is right for you. Be yourself and act calmly and clearly with your partner. Expressing your values can help you t0 be 1 れ ore in control and less emotional. "lt doesn't work for me in my relationship if I lose who I am and don't notice my values, because I then end up hating the other person because I am not wh0 1 really am With .. Mary Be true to yourself always. 71

93 ・ Learn To Like Yourself Many women think that the love 0f a man will make them happy. Some women fear being alone because they see it as shameful. The truth 0f it is that women are very strong and can be happy living on their own. When you learn to live with yourself and like yourself you truly become strong. lt is possible tO be just as alone when you are with someone in a relationship as When you are not With S01 .eone 冫 When you are With someone WhO iS making you unhappy you can feel very alone. Learn to like yourself because this builds good feelings about yourself and helps you t0 feel good no matter WhO iS or isn't in your life. 〇 00 〇 0 109

Distance Yourself From Friends You Cannot Trust If you feel that a friend is not true or honest with you or does not share your values, talk with them first and try to clear things up between you. If they continue t0 be dishonest and not supportive Of your values, you can make the decision not tO spend time with them. You can d0 this quietly without making trouble. If you hold on t0 a friendship when you cannot trust that friend, you are likely to bring harm and pain t0 yourself. You may think that you should accept them as they are and give them another chance, but tO d0 SO will lessen your self-esteem and can invite trouble and hard times tO you. If they are being dishonest or your trust and friend- ship is not returned, your spirit will feel that the relationship is not fair tO you. Your self-esteem will be lessened. Your friendship with Others whO are truer tO you may also be lessened. You need tO distance yourself from Others whO are not trustworthy. 76

2. Falling ln Love Falling in love is a very special feeling; it is exciting, pleasing, and perhaps very new t0 you. Sometimes it also makes you worry about the future. lt asks for new trust and new sharing and it makes you think about your sense 0f control over your life. Suddenly your life seems tO be rushing Off ⅲ new ways without you having control over it. There is something special about the romance that comes with falling ⅲ love, with the opemng 0f your heart to another person. Your dreams will change and your thoughts will also change; you will dream about what may happen with your new love and with the person you are falling ⅲ love with, and your thoughts will turn so often t0 that person. What is he doing right now? What is he thinking? What you do each day will also change. You will plan with this new person tO meet for coffee or tO sit ⅲ the park. You will want t0 think ahead and make special plans, or t0 find a special moment such as buying a card tO say hOW much you love that person. Enjoy these emotions and thoughts; it is a very special time ⅲ your life. Let your whole being e 可 oy the beauty of falling ⅲ love. 7

2 & Goals With Regard To Your Partner's Parents And Family Having a relationship with one special person does not mean that the relationship is with that one person alone. They may have p arents, brothers and sisters and Other family. lt is unusual tO have a relationship without contact with your partner's family. Keep ⅲ your mind that your partner's family has had a long relationship with him. They will know each other well and will have ways of talking with each other and doing things with each other. Remember also that they have their own ways to show their love for each other. DO not feel strange or alone when you are with his family. Sometimes you may even think that they don't want you in their lives or the life Of their son. Remember that they love him and want what they feel will be the best for him. Try t0 understand them. Listen t0 them carefully and ask them questions SO you may come tO know them better. DO not feel that you need tO own your partner and keep him apart from his family; show that you are happy to share him with his family. 39

80. Have A HeaIthy Body lt is not unusual to hear a teenager and her mother speak the same way about fOOd and exercise because they have the same beliefs about food and exercise. The same can be said about you and your friends. The way you and others speak and feel about your body has an impact on your attitude toward how you feel and 100k. Find the comp any 研 friend s who have a healthy attitude toward their bodies and how they 100k after and care for them. lt is easy to reflect the values and beliefs of those you spend time with. Be with people who have a healthy relationship with food and their body. For just as you take good things from what you eat, you also take the views, whether good or bad, of those you spend time with. 96

Look To The Future With Hope Understand that when a relationship is over you will survive and go on with your life. Even if you cannot believe that just now, you will heal. Even if you do not believe this at the time, know that it will become true for you at some time in the future. TO feel pain after IOSS is normal. lt proves that you are alive and that you are human. Don't stop living your life; become stronger, become hopeful that one day you will find love and happiness again. Your experience has added something tO your life and will help you to 100k at things with more wisdom next time. ln time, something good always comes from something hurtful. 85

Section 7. Loving Yourself ・ 77. Mistakes Are Great 93 76. Be Positive About Yourself 92 75. Don't Compare Yourself With Others 74. How You See Yourself 90 91 78. Don't Beat YourseIf Up About Mistakes 94 79. Be CarefuI About Who You Spend Time With 80. Have A HeaIthy Body 96 81. Don't Be Competitive With Friends 97 82. Move Your Body 98 83. Relax 99 84. Have Fun 100 85. Sit Well And Stand Tall 101 86. Learn To Breathe CorrectIy 102 87. Time For Yourself 103 88. Do You Get T00 Stressed? 104 89. Nurture A HeaIthy SeIf-image 90. Build Your Self-esteem 106 91. Take Control 107 92. Don't Shoot The Messenger! 93. Learn To Like Yourself 109 105 108 95 94. When You Are On Your Own You Can Learn And Grow 95. Connect With Yourself 111 96. Your Needs Are lmportant 97. Balance Your Needs 113 112 98. Your Best Friend 114 99. Speak Well To Yourself 100. Success Starts With You Word List ・ 116 ・ 89 118 110