Have Energy For Yourself Living a busy life and having so many different areas of your life that need your time can break down your energy. If you feel like your energy is getting 10W , here are some things you can dO tO keep good strong energy for yourself: ・ Find time to be by yourself, for yourself. ・ Say, "No" if you have t00 much to do. ・ Ask for help if and when you need it. ・ Make a list of all the good things about yourself and read it every day for a month. ・ Work out something you enjoy doing and make time to do it every day, even if just for half an hour. ・ sleep or relaxatiOn. Any of these things will help you to keep strong posi- tive energy for yourself.

13 ・ Open Your Heart Many women are afraid to open their heart and trust another person just in case they are hurt. The risk may seem to be high; if you love someone, you take the risk 0f being hurt or rejected. Some people ask us what it is like to really open your heart tO someone. Adrienne told us this story. "To open my heart for me is like when my four-year-old niece comes running up the stairs to say, 'Hi. ' I see her and my heart is full of love and happiness. That to me is opening my heart. To just feel open and loving and not expect anything in return. ' Opening your heart tO love and another person takes courage. There is always a risk that love will not suc- ceed and you will be hurt, but falling in love without opening your heart is like having sushi without wasabi. One doesn't really work without the other. 20

lt has been an emotional journey for us; finding out about each Other, discovering our needs and negotiat- ing our wants. lt has been filled with great hope, some despair, and much learning and wisdom. Our relation- ship together has grown as we discover the keys t0 success in love and our love for each Other deepens. ln talking with SO many women we found that we are not alone, that each one Of us is searching for love and self discovery. 100 Keys 地 Success ⅲ LO 怩 is about the yearning in each Of us and options that are available tO us on that journey. Four Of our daughters are women in their twenties and thirties and they also have contributed to the b00k, giving advice and feedback about the issues facing women today. We feel honored and proud that these four strong, individual, sometimes rebellious Ⅵー 01 れ en have helped us on our journey of understanding and clarity about love. Our deepest thanks to all the women who opened their hearts to us. We hope you, the reader will find success ⅲ love and use some 0f the keys in this b00k t0 help you on your journey 0 日 ove and personal discovery. Vicki Bennett lan Mathieson 3

9 ・ Free Will Free will is your ability to make a decision by yourself for yourself. When you use free will you choose to do something, or not dO something, because Of your own thoughts and experiences. The difference between animals and humans is a human's ability tO make decisions and use their free will t0 choose the best thing to do at any moment. DO you use your own free will ⅲ your relationships? DO YOLI listen tO your experience, your wisdom, your understanding 0f things and trust yourself to make the right decisions for your life? When you listen, your own inner thoughts and feelings guide you t0 know the very best thing for you to do. Using free will is like exercising your body. If you don't exercise your body you will lose some 0f your strength and it may not work as well as it could. Free will needs t0 be used every day for it to be a strength in your life. Use it every day. 14

89. Nurture A Healthy Self-image Your self-image is how you see yourself. This is dif- ferent from how you feel about yourself, which is self- esteem. ls your self-view real about the whole 0f you —your skills at work, how you 100k , your relationship skills, your energy, your goals, your friendliness and your compassion? To help you develop a realistic self-image, write two lists. Write one with your strengths (things you are good (t) and one with your weaknesses (things you would like t0 change or d0 better). When you start, the weaknesses list is likely to be longer than the strengths. When you really think about yourself you will be surprised t0 find that there are so many strengths, so many good things about you. Don't overlook things you might think are small; it is strength t0 be able t0 d0 your work well, keep your home ⅲ good order, tO be a good friend tO someone' tO be kind to a pet, t0 tell the truth. Think about these strengths every day as this builds a healthy and realistic self-image that will help you to feel good about yourself. 105

Keep A Clear Picture Of Your Love Keep a clear picture ⅲ your mind 研 the love you feel for your partner. lmagine what you like about them in your mind, think about what their strengths are and the things you love them to do and say. Keep this picture even if it is not in your life right now. Have this clear picture Of what you want in your future relation- ship as this helps to make it happen. Love and happiness are usually part 0f that picture. Dream about your future with as much love and hap- piness as you can. Expect the best from your relation- ship and b elieve that it can come true for you. 57

引・ Keep Alive A Strong Vision For Your Love Very Often love starts out being exciting, fresh, new, fun and it can sometimes go on like this. lt can be far t00 easy t0 take the other person's love for granted. If this happens, there is a risk that the love loses its energy and the relationship loses its hope for the future. There are lots of ways to keep your love strong and healthy for the future and one of these is to keep alive a strong ViSion for your love. A ViSion or picture Of the future as you would like it to be, of you and your partner. Showing your love and friendship and enjoying each Other is an example Of a good vision for the future. Share your vision with your partner. Talk with him about how he feels about your vision. Ask him if he shares this vision.Keep your ViSion fresh and alive. 42

100 KEYS ロ far t00 easy 熟あまりにも簡単 ロ fate 名運命 , 宿命 leave one's whole lives up fate 人生のすべ てを運命にまかせるⅡ pto ね運ま かせに ロ fault 名①欠点 , 短所②過失 , 誤り blind to the other person's ⅲ 相手の欠点が全く見えない ロ fear 名①恐れ②心配 , 不安動① 恐れる②心配する ロ fearful 形①恐ろしい②心配な , ロ feedback 名反応 , 意見 , 反響 ロ feeling 名①感じ , 気持ち②触感 ③同情 , 思いやり build good feelings よい感情を育む feeling of loss 喪失感 put your feelings on hold 気持ちを抑える stay connected your feelings 自分の 心の声に常に耳を傾ける thefirst falling-in-love feeling 恋に落ちたと きの最初の気持ち ロ feellighter 熟心が軽くなる ロ feellike a victim 熟被害者のよ うに感じる ロ feel stressed out 熟ストレス を感じている ロ fight back 熟反撃する ロ figure 名①人 [ 物 ] の姿 , 形②図 ( 形 ) ③数字 ロ fill 熟《 be 》創厄 d 山 ~ でいつば いである , ~ で満たされている ロ find 熟 allow love to find you 愛 にあなたを見つけさせる find it hard to please everyone 皆を満足 させるのは困難であると気づく find out 解明する find out about ~ の 存在に気付く ロ first 熟 in the first place ます初め ロ fit 動合致 [ 適合 ] する . 合致させる fitin ( 人・物が環境などに ) 溶け込む , なじむ ロ fix 動①固定する [ させる ] ②修理 OF LOVE する③決定する④用意する , 整える ロ flame 名炎 , ( 炎のような ) 輝き ロ flat 副①平らに . 平たく②きっか り ロ focus 名①焦点 , ピント②関心の 的 , 着眼点③中心動①焦点を合わ せる② ( 関心・注意を ) 集中させる foc Ⅱ son ~ に焦点を合わせる , ~ に 集中する following 動 fo Ⅱ ow ( ついていく ) の現在分詞形《 the ー》次の , 次に続 く名《 the ー》下記のもの , 以下に述 べるもの ロ fond 形①《 be ー of ~ 》 ~ が大好き である②愛情の深い ロ forgive 動許す , 免除する ロ forgiveness 名許すにと ) , 寛容 ロ fO 「 me 「形前の , 先の , 以前の ロ forward 形①前方の , 前方へ向か う②将来の③先の副①前方に② 将来に向けて③先へ , 進んで carry forward 進展させる , 進める go forward 前進する ok forward ~ を楽しみに待っ ロ fO 「 yourself by yourself 熟 自分自身で自分のために ロ four-year-old 形 4 歳の ロ freedom 名①自由②束縛がない ロ freewill 名意志の自由 , 自由意志 friend 熟 your friends may not ロ have your best interests at heart 友人は , 本当はあなたのためを思って いないかもしれない ロ friendliness 名友情 , 好意 ロ friendly 形親しみのある , 親切な , 友情のこもった副友好的に , 親切に ロ friendship 名友人であること , 友 情 needs friendship as well as love 愛情と同じく友情が必要 whereas friendship is very much about how you bo 市 get along together 友情が互いに努力し合うも のであるのに対し ロ 124

5 ・ What Women Want What other women want should not matter to you. YOLI are not the as Other WOmen, YOLI are you. The question is "What is it you want?" and being able tO express this iS much 1 .ore important. What you are told about other women and their wants is probably not what you feel your needs are. lt is far t00 easy to allow your thinking to be changed from what you really want to what others tell you that you should want. Often people copy their thoughts or hopes from people on TV, the lnternet or magazines, and those hopes or thoughts are not really their own. Think about what you want for yourself. What will suit you; make you happy or pleased with your life? What are your plans, your hopes; what is your picture of the future? Keep your own thoughts close to you and talk with your friends or your partner about your dreams and hopes, not the ideas that come from other people and magazines. Are you clear about what you want? Take some time to think about this very important question. You may find that your thoughts about what you want will change over time; the se thoughts will change and grow as time passes. Be prepared for such change. The important thing iS tO remember your own hopes and dreams, not those Of else. 10

5 & Stay Connected To Your FeeIings Throughout your relationship stay connected to your feelings. Take notice and think about your feelings without being hurt or upset. Your feelings will always help you to understand what is happening in your world and ⅲ your relationship. They are very useful in telling you if something is or isn't right. They can connect you to what is happening for you and what is happening around you. Sit gently with these feelings and carefully listen to them. Sometimes you will decide tO act upon them, sometimes you will just notice them and feel kindness to yourself for feeling them and then let them go. 70