CRIME AND PUNISHMENT talk tO your mother and sister?" "What wrong have I done them? Why should I go tO them?" 、 'lt will be t00 much for you to bear alone!" she 。、 Perhaps IVe been unfair to myself. Perhaps, after all, I am a man and not a bug and l've been in t00 great a hurry to act against myself. ' "What a load [ 0 bear! ” "l'll get used to it," he said. 。、 Stop crying, it's time to talk of the facts. IVe come to tell you that the POlice are after me. "ACh! ” Sonia cried in terror. 、、市 y do you cry out? You want me [ 0 go to Sibe- ria and now you are frightened? Let me tell you: I shall not give myself up. I shall make a struggle for it and they won't do anything to me. TheyVe no real evidence. "Yesterday I believed I was lost. But something happened today and things are better. AII the facts can be explained. They will put me ⅲ jail... But that's no matter, Sonia. They'll have tO let me out. you C01 れ e see me in prison?" "Oh, I will, I will. " He felt how great was her love for him. But, strange to say, it suddenly was a heavy load, and painful, to be so loved. Now he was unhappier than said. 154

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT no, that's not right. "l've only killed a bug, Sonia, a useless, harmful creature. 、 'A human being—a bug! ' ' 、、 I know she wasn't a bug,' he said. "You're right. There were other causes. My mother would have sent me what I needed for the university, and I could have earned enough for clothes and f00d. But I wouldn't. 。、 I sat in my room and did nothing. I began t0 fancy that whoever is strong enough in mind will have power over everyone. Anyone WhO iS greatly daring is right ⅲ their eyes. And he wh0 dares most will be most right! "I knew then, Sonia, that power belongs t0 the man who dares to bend and pick ⅱ up. There is only one thing needed: one has only t0 dare! For the first time ⅲ my life an idea took shape ⅲ my mind which no one had ever thought of before! 当 thought it strange that not a single person in the whole world had the daring to go for it all, and to hell with the devil! I wanted to have that dar- ing … and I killed her. I only wanted the daring, Sonia! That's the whole cause Of it! ” "Be quiet," cried Sonia, putting her hands together. "You turned away from G0d and G0d has hurt you, has given you over tO the devil! ' ' "I know it was the devil leading me. You don't 152

PART Two "You are mad," said Zametov. RaskoInikov knew what he was doing, but he couldn't stop himself. "What if it was I who murdered the old woman and Lizaveta? ” he said. Zametov turned white. "ls it possible? ' ' RaskoInikov looked at him with a smile. "Own up that you believed it," he said. "NOt a bit of it. I believe it less than ever now,' Zametov cried. "So you believed it before, if now you believe it "NOt at all," cried Zametov.. "You don't believe it, then? ' ' Before he could answer, Raskolnikov shouted to the waiter for his bill. After paying, he said to Zametov, "See what a lot of money I have? Twenty-five rubles. Where did I get them? WeII, that's enough ! TiII we meet again! ' ' At the door he ran into Razumihin. 。。 SO here you are ! ' ' Razumihin shouted. "What is the meaning. "lt means l'm sick to death of you all and I want tO be alone! ” "Alone? When your face is as white as a sheet! What have you been doing?" less? ” 47

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 。、 I ought to have known," he thought. 、、 How dared I take an ax and kill! The 01d woman was a mistake. But she is not what matters ! I didn't kill her, but a principle ! What's so terrible is that l'm perhaps worse than the person I killed. "Ah, how I hate the old woman! I would kill her again if she came t0 life ! But poor Lizaveta ! Why did She C01 れ e lll . ? ” He forgot where he was. When he woke he was in the street. A full moon was shining. He knew he had come out with a purpose, but he forgot what it was. He saw a man on the Other side Of the street motioning tO him and crossed over. The man turned and walked away. 、、 Did he really motion to me?" Rask01nikov won- dered. He ran tO catch up with him. But when he was within ten yards he recognized him. lt was the man ⅲ the long coat who had called him a murderer. RaskoInikov followed him, his heart beating. The man went in at the gate Of a house. ln the court yard he turned and again seemed tO motion to him. Raskolnikov followed him into the yard, but the man was gone. He must have gone up the stairs. Raskolnikov rushed after him. He heard foot steps two flights above. The stairs seemed strangely 90

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT was going tO Razumihin. That's what it was... but what for? ” He had hardly any friends at the university, but had got on with Razumihin. CHAPTER V 、、 Of course! I wanted [ 0 go to Razumihin's for help getting lessons. Raskolnikov remembered. "But what shall I do with the few pennies I earn? That's not what I want now.. lt makes no sense tO go tO him now.. Then a crazy thought came into his head: "I shall go t0 Razumihin's... but not now. I shall go... on the day after lt, when lt will be over.. 、 'After lt! ' ' he cried. 。、 ls it possible lt really will He went intO a tavern and drank a glass Of vodka. The vodka affected him at once. On the way home he sank upon the grass and had a dream. He dreamed he was seven, walking with his father in the country. Near the entrance tO a tavern 12

PART FOUR never seen each Other. We were at OddS. NOW gone int0 theory! Wasn't I right saynng we were alike ? ' ' Why are you visiting me?" "Your sister is going to be married to Mr. Luzhin Pyo tr Pe trovi tch ? ' ' "Please don't ask questions about my sister, or even mention her name. can't understand hO Ⅵみ dare speak her name in 1 れ y presence. "But IVe come here to speak about her. How can I avoid mentioning her?" "Then speak, but be quick about it. 'l'm sure you've formed opinion Of Mr. Luzhin, whO is related t0 me through my wife. He's no match for Avd0tya Romanovna. I believe she is giving herself up for... her family. "You have a lot of nerve ! ' ' Raskolnikov cried. "You think I am thinking only of my own ends? Let me tell you something. IVe no feeling of love now, not the least, but I really did feel something. "Through idleness and sin," RaskoInikov put ⅲ . "l certainly am idle and a sinner, but your sister has such qualities that even I could not help being aware Of them. But I see that's all nothing now.. "Have you seen that long? ' ' "I knew it the moment I arrived in petersburg, though I fancied I was coming to try to get Avdotya 99

CHAPTER Ⅱ "IVe come to have it out with you, Rodion Romano- vitch! " Porfiry Petrovitch said. 。、 I acted unfairly to you the last time we met. IVe decided openness is better. '' "What are you driving at? ' 。 Raskolnikov asked. 。、 What am I driving at? I know you don't like me. I desire tO wipe out that impression and show I am a man Of heart. We need not go into detail, but there were stories. I heard, t00 , of the scene at the 0 伍 ce. lt was one thing after another. "I thought to myself, that man will come of him- self if he's guilty. Another man wouldn't, but he will ! But, I thought, 'l'd better get hold of some little fact. 。 When I heard of the bell ringing, I held my breath. 、 Here is my little fact,' thought I. '' "Razumihin told me you think NikoIay is guilty,' interrupted Rask01nikov. 、。ⅲ d you like to know how I see Nikolay? ' ' said Porfiry Petrovitch. "He is an Old Believer. He believes we are meant to suffer. With these people it's not a question Of suffering for someone's benefit, but simply, 'one must suffer. 167

PART SIX 、、 Thank God! That's what we were afraid of, S0fya Semyonovna and I. ' l've just been weeping in mother's arms. 。、 You've been at mother's? Surely you haven't told her? ” "I didn't にⅡ her ... ⅲ words. But she understood a great deal. But you are ready tO face suffering, aren't you? 。。 、、 Yes. I thought that if I am strong, l'd better not be afraid of shame. He got up. "lt's late. l'm going to give myself up. But I don't know why l'm doing it. '。 Tears rolled down Dounia's face. 。、 You are crying, sister, but can you hOld out your hand tO 1 れ e ? ” She threw her arms round him. 、 'Aren't you making up for your crime by facing the suffering? ' she cried. 、、 what crime? ' ' he cried in a fury 。、 That I killed an ugly insect wh0 was sucking the life out 0f poor people. Only now I see the shame in my lack 0f courage, now that I have decided t0 let them punish me for what I did. 。、 Brother, what are you saying? You have killed S01 れ eone ! ” cried Dounia. 。、 For which men are crowned for benefiting 191

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 。、 There is no great love on either side, Of course. But Dounia says she will make it her duty t0 make her husband happy. pyotr Petrovitch is setting 0 仕 at once for Peters- burg. He is busy in the courts and wants tO open a law office there. Rodya dear, he may be 0f great use [ 0 you. Dounia and I agree you can consider your future assured. "We dropped a few words on the subjectto him. He said, as he could not dO without a secretary, it would be better tO pay a salary tO a relation than tO a stranger. "The matter has been dropped for now. But Dou- nia thinks of nothing else. She has plans for your becoming an associate in hiS business. are care- ful not t0 talk of them t0 him. Nor 0f our hopes for him helping pay for your studies. 、 'Now, dear R0dya, the best news! Dounia and I are setting 0 for petersburg! I shall send you money, though I am uneasy about our traveling expenses. pyotr petrovitch has assumed part Of them but Ⅵ℃ must count on some expenses. 、、 But enough! My precious R0dya, I embrace you and send you a mother's love. "Yours ⅱⅡ death, "PULCHERIA RASKOLNIKOV. ” 10

PART SIX "NO matter, l'll come all the same. ' But RaskoInikov decided, for the moment, he was probably telling the truth, and when svidri- gailov stopped a cab, he turned and walked away. Had turned round, he might have seen Sv1drigailov let the cab go and walk away. He paused on the bridge, not seeing his sister, who was standing close by. She didn't know whether to call to him or not. She saw Svidrigailov coming towards her, trying to avoid Raskolnikov's seeing him. He signaled her to come to him. 。、 Let us get away," he said tO her. 、 'I don't want your brother to know of our meeting. I had diffi- culty getting him t0 leave. He somehow heard of my letter . "VVe've turned the corner," Dounia said. "l'm going no further with you. 。、 I can't say it in the street. You must hear Sofya Semyonovna. If you won't come, I shall go away. But know that a secret of your brother's is in my keep- She paused. 、 SOfya Semyonovna we're coming?" 'l've not said a word to her, but l'm sure she's h01 れ e now.' They stopped at Sonia's room, but she was not home. He showed her his flat and how it led into 179